Biography

Author's note

The current incomplete page combines some of my earlier biographical material, and includes some new stuff. I'm writing it because I am no longer the same person as I was when I write the earlier material, and feel my (auto)biography should reflect where I am at the moment.

Writing a biography is something I have ambiguous feelings about. If tehre was not already this stuff on my website that needed revising, I would not do it at all. There is also the question of what to say and what not to say. In this biography, a number of things, including very important things in my life that have greatly shaped me, have been left unsaid. When the time is write I'll talk about them; probably not for a few years.

The perils of writing an (auto)biography

What we appear to be and what we often think we are is only the surface of a much deeper and larger existence. Most people live only in the surface of their beings; they are barely, if even at all, conscious of the depths within (and above, and around), and when they do receive flashes and intimations they call it God or Christ or Buddha or whatever.

The answer lies between and beyond secularism on the one hand, which only understands the surface (even if it does understand that very well, but its mistake is to assume that that is all that there is), and religionism, which is caught in literalist dogmas of some scripture or tradition, on the other.

Thus for anyone to write a biography properly, they would have to take into account past lives (which physicalist materialism doesnt believe in, nor do many religions), higher spiritual impulses that are at work (generally veiled) in the personality, the higher self and divine soul's activity and purpose for this personality, the semi-autonomous emotional-astral being, subconcious samskaras, miasmas inherited from one's parents (and they from theirs), racial memory, influences and formations from the subtle planes, spiritual and devic cosmecological evolutionary forces, and more, much more.

All these things fall outside the paradigm and dominant memesets of materialistic-reductionistic exoteric (not esoteric) judeochristian society

Without taking these things into account, anything that is written is ridiculous, a superficiality that appeals only to those who live in their outer or surface being. But if one does take thes ethings into account, then one risks being incomprehensible, because very often the thoughtform for these things does not exist, or if it does it is known only to the few, as part of an esotericist teaching.

In writing/updating my biography, I have tried to strike a balance between these two extremes

Prelude

(Everyone has their own myth, whether they know it or not. And that myth is true, not fantasy (even if the motifs and forms it takes in the surface consciousness are imaginary). This is my myth.)

We all of us have many selves and many aspects and personalities, many selves or streams of consciousness; it is not just a simplistic evolutionary continuum, a linear sequence. Some of these lives and personalities are more spiritual or powerful, others more primitive, a few saintly, a few abhorrant, but most in between. It happens toe everyone.

Here is the myth of one personality stream. "I" (inverted commas, because it wasn't "I" the current personality; the personality is mortal, the Divine Soul puts on a new personality with each life) am an exile, an outsider and an alien to this world and this universe, "I" have been exiled here to help, in whatever small way, in the spiritual transformation of the Earth. But unlike the gnostic mythos, there is no going back to "my" original home - "I" can only go forward. In almost every incarnation "I" have lived on the fringes of society, never quite fitting in, always contributing in some way or another. Perhaps becauise of the importance of the Work, or perhaps simply because of love of the challenge material existence, I have been keen to incarnate. Where many souls take rest for centuries between lifetimes, recovering from the trauma and hardship of physical life, I have rushed back in, keen to resume to work, sometimes two or three lifetimes in a century.

If the human side of "me" lived in "Atlantis" (regardless of whether Atlantis was on this Earth or some parallel reality) or in Ancient Egypt I don't yet have any memories, although there is my affiliation with the Kheper motif. The earliest civilisation of which "I" have clear association was Ancient Rome, reflecting perhaps my martial ideal.

Here is the myth of another personality stream. The non-human side of "me" has always been with the Earth, tracing and a part of Her transformations; I stilllove paleontology; it is the memory of the phylogeny of life on Earth. It is this life as a whole that will inherit the Divine, not just one arrogant species, H. sapiens, no, it is this life, the biosphere as a whole that will be transmuted to partake in the Supramental Transformation, the Divine Life on Earth.

Here is another myth. I (this life, so no inverted commas) used to think in these previous lives "I" was alone (alone but not lonely), but I (due to limited experience, limited knowledge, and limited awakening) was mistaken, because "I" wasn't. There are many working for the Divine Victory, and two integral avatars who have blazed the trail. "I" was never alone. And "you" - in whatever path "you" take, were and are never alone either.

Recent Past Lives

I am not saying these lives belong to the same personality stream. They are many streams, but the present personality can resonate with all of them. I am guessing however that the following recent lives all pertain to the same personality stream

There was a life as a Polish Kabbalist in the late 18th/early 19th century; because of a wrong attitude (this person wasn't very spiritual) he died prematurely (perhaps late 30s???). Significantly, lots of Kabbalists seem to die at around 40 (Moses Luzzatto, Isaac Luria), so did Suhrawardi; in astrology this is the "Uranus transit"

There was a life as a 19th century English gentleman-scholar, philosopher theologian and naturalist,perhaps dorset way (where there are a lot of fossils in the cliffs, e.g. Lyme Regis); he seems to have lived off a comfortable fortune. He may have even travelled to India, a country "I" have a strong link to, and was greatly impressed by the experience. But he was not sufficiently considerate or sensitive in my dealings with another; he "played by the book", doing what he thought was right, but he should of listened to his Heart instead. I (personality in this life) know this because of my karma in this life.

I wish I could say I had a life with Theon and his Cosmic Group, but I don't feel that I did. Or if I did i don't recall it.

There was a life in the early to mid 20th century, as a German Soldier who was killed early in World War II. He was a big guy, but he abused his physical strength, and his ideology leaved a lot to be desired. But he was intelligent and thoughtful too. His last thought was "Next time I want to understand the meaning of things, how this came about".

It is said that one's thought at the moment of death determines one's next life time. Because of that, I (personality in this life) have dedicated this life to understanding. And also to growing spiritually, and working through "my" karma. "I" have gathered so much karma in so many lives, now is the time for it to be transmuted

My story (for this incarnation)

I have a great spiritual love of the animal kingdom which is why I reject anthropocentrism, and am a vegan.)

I was born in South Africa to non-religious Jewish parents (my mother was agnostic, my father, a deist). My mother was born in Poland; all my grandparents are from the region of Poland-Belorus-Russia (the borders keep changing). My maternal grandfather (who I always felt a very strong connection with though he died when i was only little) travelled widely (including to America and Argentina), and lived through the Russian revolution and saw the atrocities first hand. He could see how Kerensky's weakness at not having Lenin killed when he had him in prison led to ultimately to the deaths of millions. During the 1940s and early 1950s, when intellectuals all loved and worshipped Stalin, my grandfather would say about his portrait "look at those eyes, those schemi8ng murdering eyes". He later wrote two books based on the tragedy of the communist revolution in powerful and moving Russian (my grandmother said reading it brought tears to her eyes), unfortunately the original Russian manuscripts were since lost and all that remain are very poor translations in broken Emglish.

Both my parents had university degrees (my mother, an extremely talented woman who was creative in music (piano) and dance, had two degrees, one in psychology, and one in law).

I remember only snatches of my time in South Africa. My mother told me that when I was two I could read the alphabet; she would put me on the shop counter (my grandparents owned a shop) and would hold up teh letters and I'd read them and everyone would be amazed. My parents, who disliked the apartheit regime, emigrated to Australia when I was 4.  We lived in Pymble,  Sydney, where at first I was happy, and drew precocious pictures of trains (with Thomas the Tank Engine type face, although this was before Thomas the Tank Engine, in 1962), showing artistic perspective. I was, as much as I remember, loud, active, and an extravert.

At age five something happened; a part of life force, or maybe it was my orectic personality, left, and from that moment on I became shy, introverted, physically small and weak for my age, asthmatic, and stuttering. Also my drawings were no longer happy steam trains showing perspective, but - when I drew a train, it was sleek, fast, cold and ahrimanic. My mother says this was because I had to do repetitious colouring in at school (kindegarden), which screwed upmy creativity. I don't remember anything of the fisrt year at school.

Neverthelss, all my creativity and spiritual soul had not departed. I was still, in these eraly years, interested in things like UFOs and ghosts and haunted houses, science fiction, the idea of time travel, dinosaurs, prehistoric life, palaeontology, shell collecting, and in nature and science in general. All these things really stirred my imagination. My mother bought me some of the How and Why Wonder Books, a truly excellent series of books that introduced a generation of kids to the wonders of knowledge and the universe (this was in the days when people still read books). I cannot remember when I started what would eventually accumulate over the years a large shell and fossil collection, maybe I was 4 or 5.

There is another thing to mention. From a young age I remember my parents used to argue a lot; theirs was an unhappy union, but they stayed together because it those days that is what one did (baby boomers changed all that). There was never physical violence thank god, only - as befits unhappiness between two intelligent individuals - verbal abuse from both sides. Later on I noticed there would be on average five (5) shouting matches a day. If you grow up in a home without love between the beings that made you, it does affect you, although I only became aware of this much later. I don't blame my parents for this; both their lives were tragic, each in their own way. Each of them deserved better; each of them deserved love. But they too were caught in the web of karma, and to work out their own lives, their own karmas, just I have had to mine.

One of the happiest times in my life was the 9 months we spent in  Grafton, in 1967. Okay I hated going to school as always, but for the rest, I love the tropics (well, subtropics, Gradfton is in northern NSW), and hope to move north one day. At that time my eyes suddenly got weak. It was because my mother was giving me anti-asthma drugs and they were screwing up my eyes. My uncle told her to stop immediately, and she did, and my eyes stopped deteriorating, but I'm still short sighted. I owe my uncle the gift of my sight, and also, in a strange way, Sri Aurobindo. In fact my uncle, Rubin Levin, was the eccentric of the family, I always felt a special closeness with him (and with my maternal grandfather in South Africa, who died when I was still little).

We left Grafton because my father's boss at work, a guy named Korf (I never met him), was an antisemitic arsehole who made my father's life on the job hell. My poor father would come home from work and rage about Korf this and Korf that. I don't know if he's alive or dead by now, but if he's dead I won't shed a tear. But yes, karma again.

We moved back to Sydney (Artarmon this time). I used to love playing in the quarry down the hill. I still hated school. My parents made me go to Judo classes for self-defence, which I also (being not very physical) hated. At the same time I retained and strengthened my interest in the history and evolution of life; my mother would buy me increasinglky more advanced books on dinosaurs and prehistoric life which I would study eagerly.

Here is something strange. Over a period of several years when I was about 10 to 12 or so I went through that religious phase where I was very religious and liked thinking about God, but never in a fundamentalist way. e.g. I thought (after my father had once said this in a conversation) "maybe God is a machine" and thought what a Divine Machine might be like, things like that. But I believed in God and really loved Him/Her/It (mostly I thought of God as an It, I never ever in my life believed in an anthropomorphic God, not even when I was 10 or so) and would even every evening at one point pray to It, not to ask for anything, but simply to Thank It. My heart filled with love and joy when I did that.

When I was about 11 my father got a job with the Water Resources Commission in  Deniliquin (country NSW) so we moved to the country. By about age 13 or 14 or so I had totally lost interest in God, I just stopped thinking about and praying to It. Then I went though a phase for a few years where I was a vehement materialist and atheist. By now I was reading more advanced textbooks on paleontology; my favourite books were those by American paleontologist Edwin Colbert, such as The Age of Reptiles and on Dinoaurs and vertebrate paleontology (Dr Colbert actually introduced an entire generation of students to the wonders of paleontology; I wrote a short bio on him on Wikipedia). I also would draw "evolution charts"; I was fascinated by the concept of phylogeny (although I didn't know the word, I just would say "evolution") and how one species or genus evolves into another over time. I rember seeing in a book in the library once (the title of which I did not recall) drawings of prehistoric South American Ground Sloths etc to scale, arranged vertically by time and connected by lines; this one image had a huge effect on me and I tried to emulate it in all my evolution charts (which would mostly be about Mesozoic reptiles). I had a kid's microscope but it was enough to reveal the microcosm of life in a pond; a wonder that has always remained. At the same time I had very little social life and didn't relate to other kids; essentially my only social life was through friends of my brother (my brother - who is four years younger than me - being the one who is more competant and grounded). This is due to the fact that my physical and especially emotinal development always lagged behind, whereas my intellectual development and imagination was very advanced.

At the same time, my alienation was so great that I remeber thinking at this time that I really might be a martian.

I used to read to superhero comics which I would get at the local coner shop 2nd hand - mostly black and white DC comics because they were cheaper, but I really preferred Marvel. There is something about comics and geeks. I also read a lot of science fiction, essentially science fiction books of my father's (he and I shared a love of SF, and he absolutely raved over Asimov, considering the Foundation Series the most brilliant books ever written), or ones that he got from the library

Having seen the effects of both communism and nazism, the twin demons that afflicted Europe during the 20th century, my parents had an entrenched political conservatism that was however common to people of that generation. THus I grew up thinking that "Labour was too communist" and that the peace movement was a KGB front (Michael Barnard, a columnist of the Age at the time who had a typically McCarthyist type worldview) . My mother however dispised the National Party (country party) for their love of guns and hunting.

When I was fourteen or fifteen, my uncle, in a letter to my mother which she read out to me, said that he felt it was "his destiny" to tell me about Sri Aurobindo, He also mentioned a "French lady" who had taken over the task of leadership of the ashram. This was either in 1972 or early 1973, I don't recall. The Mother passed away later in 1973, but it was when she was still alive. I was at the time still too immature and materialistic in outlook to appreciate what my uncle was saying. Even so, the memory fragment has stayed with me.

My mother was - due to my uncle (who, remember, saved my sight) - into naturopathy. When she was 50 she contracted breast cancer - this was due to her - in her unhappy marriagae - not being able to have the opportunity to express love, keeping all those feelings pent up inside. She used alternative healing techniques to heal it, despite having to put up my father shouting at her "if my foot's gangrenous, I'd cut it off!". I was too young and emotionally immature and self-absorbed to understand, she had no-one except for her brother, my uncle. He didnt know much either, he advised her to go to a quack healer whose name I now forget who put her on a distilled water fast. The world is full of quacks; it was then (in the mid 1970s) and it is now. She even had her breast cut off, but refused radiation treatment (I cannot recall for certain if it was radiation or chemotherapy, but it was the follow-up at the time, I think it was radiation, because I only became aware of the word "chemotherapy much later). In the end she somehow cured herself, despite the fact that after having a masectomy but without radiation treatment she was worrse off than she would've been if she had never had the operation, through a combination of natural food, wheatgrass, meditation and creative visualisation (she corresponded with and met Ainslie Meares, and had the greatest respect for him). One often hears of cases of people who contract cancer and use alternative methods and still die. My mother is proof that one can heal oneself. In fact I think that the mass media, conservative as it is, loves to publicise cases of the failures of alternative healing, while ignoring cases of its success.

At about 17 or 18 or so I read a book called "Three Magic Words" about the Power of creative visualisation and positive thinking, which spoke about the Universal Mind, and with references to Jesus etc, but as an example of someone who had reached this level, not religious preaching. The three magic words are, you guessed it, "You are God" Anyway I thought this book was pretty neat (now i'd just think ah yeah another creative visualisation book, without even esoteric insights into planes of consciousness etc, but at the time it was all knew). So by this time I had outgrown my atheistic materialism. Also around this time, when I was 18 or so, I read Life after Life, by Raymond Moody (near death experiences) ; it made a big impression on me.

I was also at this time - yeah this is dumb - became superstitious and scared of tarot cards, dabbling in the occult, etc even though I knew that was fundamentalist Christian propaganda and fear-mongering, but my subconscious was susceptible. So I was interested, but also superstitious

When I was 19, I moved down to  Melbourne. I was tired of living in a small country town and wanted to live in the big city, and Melbourne was the nearest big city to Deniliquin. At this time I was still extremely emotionally immature and arrogant. I rteurned home a few times and then back to Melbourne. When I was 19 I went to the second Confest, in 1977, at Mt. Oak near Bredbo, but was again much too young and immature to appreciate it spiritually, although obviously I thought the naked girls looked cute! I rember Jim Cairns gave a talk, in which he raged against Kerr's sacking of Whitlam (that was the only thing I remember, although he said other things too. I met Cairns and his wife briefly at a much later Confest when he was quite elderly; I felt and feel he was a very decent man).

At some point, I can't remember when exactly, I was in Sydney (where my uncle lived with his mother my grandmother in Waverton, on the North Shore) and we (him, my mother, my younger brother and myself) were driving around in his little van when I saw some student grafitti about anarchism equally freedom or some such. At the time, my thinking was still determined by my poarents simplistic anti-communism and Michael Barnardism, and I made some disparaging remark at that. My Uncle said "You've got a lot to learn Martin". Ina rare moment of humility I replied "I know I have." Perhaps impressed by my reply, he said "and that's the first thing to learn, that you have a lot to learn." It would however probably be another couple of years before my thinking switched from right-wing conservative to leftist environmental.

At around age 20 , I bought a book called "What the Great Religions Believe" which was just a very simple book with a chapter on each faith. I was most attracted to Buddhism and Hinduism I guess; the concept of karma reincarnation, godhead etc (although these were described in very simple terms). By this time I wanted to be a writer, and tried broadening my reading away from SF to general action like Alistair MacLean and Frederick Forsythe, although I could never enjoy that genre as much as science fiction.

Then one day - I was about 20 - I was thinking about all this stuff, when I just thought to myself, "why should I be scared of tarot cards? I don't believe in the Christian devil (or the Christian god)". And with that one thought (or something like that, I don't remember exactly, this was 27 years ago :-) , the scales fell from before my eyes (as St Paul said), and I could see clearly, and I understood everything, like that the Godhead is within (as the Three Magic Words book said), and that what the fundamentalists say with their fear-mongering is all garbage, and it's ok to study all these things. So I just bought books and started reading, and have never looked back.

It's pretty funny looking back at this now - I guess (re my fear of tarot cards and "dabbling in the occult") that these were residual samsaras from a past life where I used occultism negatively. Add to that the whole collective miasma of fear created by the Christian Church; especially the Catholic Church, where all those revolting omen and exorcist films emanate from; the whole aura of fear and obsession these people have is incredible! And if you are susceptable, but not yet awakened esoterically, it is very easy to get sucked in with this sort of thing, and so to connect with those "lower astral" realities.

At this time I had a friend called Daniel, a young Yugoslav guy (this was when there was still a Yugoslavia; I guess he would be Croatian now, I'm not sure), who was schizophrenic and hyperactive, but a really nice guiy, not at all intelligent but very feeling centered, tall, social and emotionally developed and easy going, extravertive and talkative, obsessed with sex, and would go on all the time about things like how long his dick was which I really wasn't interested in hearing about. He was the opposite of me who was (and am) short, intense, moody, intellectual, private, emotionally backward (not now, but then). Because my name was Martin he used to call me "Little Luther", or just "Luther", after "Martin Luther KIng". But because I used to read superhhero comics as a kid I would think of Lex Luther, the evil scientist who was Superman's nemesis, which was sorta cool in a way, because Superman used to anoy me, he was always so squeaky clean. Anyway Daniel and I used to walk the streets of Melbourne together, a bit like Dustin Hoffman and Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy. He was one of my few close friends, although we were quite opposite.

Once when we were walking down Swanston Street we saw this guy on a soapbox outside the town hall. Anyway we stopped and listened and he was talking about things like spirituality and so on. The guy's name was Michael, he was only a young guy in his twenties, but very serious-minded. A Christian in the true sense, he wanted to encourage people to do good deeds, and had gathered a small group around him. I would go to the city to listen and talk, and this was the trigger that made me decide I should go to university, where there would be many other such intelligent young people.

I was 21 when I finally went to  La Trobe University, Melbourne where I did an Arts degree, majoring in Philosophy, learning about phenomenology from Moshe Kroy and Indian philosophy from Ian Kesecardi-Watson.

In the mid to late 80s and early 90s, I lived an alternative life, associating with like-minded friends who combined spiritual consciousness with political activism. I moved to the formerly bohemian, but now increasingly gentrified and trendy suburb of St Kilda. where my mother bought me a flat. At the time I thought this was a good decision but I can see now it locked me in to one location. For a person who loves freedom, that is no good. Yet I always had this self-destructive side of making bad decisions. Ultimately I would have to sufferm, in order to grow spiritually.

I spent years (both at Uni and after) studying esoteric philosophies.  I work best on my own, and I'd say that 99% of what I've learned has been self-taught, through my own reading and contemplation. For years I practiced meditation and worked on self-transformation. I would sometimes go to groups, but every group I went to felt constricting.

From 1987 to 1990 I produced, with my friend Steven Guth, a magazine called Eco-Gnosis, providing a forum for ideas concerning a synthesis of spirituality, esoteric-occult knowledge, and planetary activism.  It ran for eleven issues, but production was halted when I lost the use of the cheap photocopying facilities.

My other big project at the time was a book on esoteric-occult cosmology, an integrated map of all possible states of existence, which flowed naturally from my meditation and study of of esoteric philosophies.  This naturally was too hard to do, especially because my ideas kept changing as I went along.  So I uploaded the material I had written onto this web site.  A metamorphosis from static print (or at least wordprocessed) media to dynamic Internet media.  This has turned out a much bigger task then I thought, because the material has to be edited and converted to HTML, and various links chased up.  If you want to read what's here so far, start at the "reality" index page.

At some point I am ashamed to say I decided to let my meditation go, because I wanted to experience a "normal" life. As a result my consciousness went right down. This was a real screw up. So I can assure you, if you are into meditation, that it is incomparably preferable to the so-called normal life (and what is normal anyway)

I will say however how thankful I am to my friend Dee, who in the two years we were together in a relationship, helped me to develop my emotional body E.Q., so I didnt look like such a slob, or an out-of-place hippy.

Me looking philosophical - 2006

A discursis. Before I got on-line and became a citizen of cyberspace, I spent several years addicted to computer games.  I spent at least 18 months addicted to Sid Meier's Civilization.  Can you imagine, doing nothing but playing Civilization for 18 months?  A bizarre experience.

A picture of me, late 1990s.  Sorry about the red-eye flash thing. This is me at the helm of Enterprise.

Some of my room, 2003. Books, photocopies, and potted plants. Yep, my room is a mess! I have heaps more books in the hallway and living room, but unfortunately the cable on the webcam (which i used for the screen capture) doesnt extend very far, so for now there are only pictures of my room

For some time (in the 1990s) I tried writing science fiction (especially cyberpunk), this was no more successful completion-wise as any other projects. Here is chapter one, which I made into a self contained short story. Except for very minor changes this material dates from around 1994 or 1995, and was inspired by my reading of Jeff Noon ( Vurt), William Gibson (Neuromancer), Irvine Welsh (Trainspotting), and other such writers . Currently I have yet to finish a novel, and it is most unlikely I will do so in the foreseeable future, as I have so many other things happening at the moment.

I have always had a bad speech impediment and circa 1997 or so completed the first stage of the  McGuire program, which gives amazing results, much better and more natural than the  smooth speech technique - and I can strongly recommend it to anyone at all who has a problem with stuttering and associated lack of self-esteem etc. And even though for a number of reasons of my own (I couldn't afford the hotel accomodation, little as it was; there wasn't much motivation for me since I don't work in an office job or anywhere like that where you have to talk to people; and I cannot function in any sort of real life group - good or bad!) I didn't follow it up, my speech now somewhat better than it was. However, since I very rarely socialise, and since most of my communications are on-line, it is no big deal now whether I stutter or not, so it is no longer the issue it once was.

I set up my first website in May 1998; this was the original Kheper site. Over the years this has grown greatly, and branched out into several other sites. I have always had an attraction for really grand projects, and each of the three sites I maintain and participate in are huge innovative endevours; one, Kheper, an encyclopaedic coverage of esoteric and alternative knowledge, one, Palaeos, a comprehensive overview of the history and evolution of life on Earth, truely the "greatest story ever told", and one, Orion's Arm, a revolutionary project in hard SF worldbuilding. Originally they were all part of the Kheper website, but as the size of each project increased, and also I could see that my own perspective is just one among many, I ended up going into partnership with like-minded friends, and arranging with them to have seperate servers, so each project is a distinct shared endevour. With Kheper I am currently working with Steven Guth, with Palaeos with Toby White, and with Orion's Arm the other folks of the Orion's Arm Worldbuilding Group.

For a few years I worked on a new Integral Paradigm and Theory of Everything that will provide a framework ffor explaining all possible states of conscious and existence, all phenomena, all things, and so on. This is a very hedgehogish activity; the last person who tried something like this was (and is) the American transpersonalist-integralist philosopher Ken Wilber (see his "AQAL" Integral philosophy), and with all due respect to Mr Wilber I don't thing he has done a very good job (here's why). Time will tell if my own alternative is any better.

By November 2005 I thought it was about time I did something about getting some work in print! So I am now giving a much higher priority to my writing. I did intend to start a sci fi novel, classic "hard science" space opera, set in the Orion's Arm universe, but that project fell by the wayside. I did however start Am currently working on an esoteric book, which I tentativeely entitled Towards Esoteric Metaphysics, inspired by my Integral Paradigm ideas. Because of limitations of time, and other reasons, I closed the Kheper forum (or rather renamed it; it is no longer associated with this website), but if at some future time my books are successful and encourage discussion, then I will restart the group (or a new group)

By December 2005 I renamed the book will be entitled Towards an Integral (or Integrative) Metaphysic, or - because it will have more cosmology than metaphysics - Towards an Integral Cosmology. The book, inpired by the "theory of everything" approach of the Integral theory of Ken Wilber (but also pointing out many of Wilber's failings) will present a new paradigm and understanding of reality, beyond both physicalism and religionism, and also rejecting the chaivisnism, sexism, and specism of traditional esotericism

Around May 2006 I started a blog at Zaadz, which I write entries in from time to time.

I am writing a long essay that will refute Wilberian thought and abusive guruism from an esoetric and Aurobindonian perspective. Following Wilber's famous outburst, I lost interest in him (although I still consider him an important figure in terms of being a catalyst for the Integral Movement, but not comparable to Sri Aurobindo, Teilhard, etc). However most of my essay is finished so I might as well complete it, then I can return to my book. The process of writing this essay has been very useful because it has helped me clarify my thinking, and move beyond the limited mental sphere that had previously determined my outlook, and more from the spiritual and divine perspective. The book has been renamed again, tentative title Evolution, Metamorphosis, and Divinisation, tentative summary here. It will be based on the the "Integral Yoga" of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, although also bringing in other esoteric syustems of thought. For me spirituality has to be about transformation in this world, not a flight to an otherwirldly nirvana, which solves none of the Earth's problems. The individual spiritual transformation has to extend out to the collective consciousness and the Earth as a whole (and ultimately beyond that to the Cosmos as a whole)

In July 2006 I started a new blog at Blogger com.

From late 2006 to early 2007, two very significant things happened to me; spiritual initiations so to speak. The first was seeing Gangaji . In November 2006 I went to two of her "satsangs" - I always feel a bit embarrassed at the way that Westerner's appropriate these Indian terms, a sort of New Age "cultural cringe" - which were held just up the road from me. In her photo I had sensed an amazing light radiating from her, and this was even stronger in person (this is on the subtle level). The teaching didn't do anything for me (I did say some nice things about her in my Zaadz blog, but that's more in relation to her Light); they are very simplistic. I'm not saying they are wrong, just they represent one path, a very simplistic formulation, and not even representative of Advaita as a whole. But what affected me was not the teaching, but rather the light that shines from her. Gangaji didn't do anything deliberately, yet I received something. This Light I assume she received from Papaji, and Papaji from Ramana Maharshi

And the thing is, it was and is Ramana's Light. In this manner, Ramana Maharshi, who is the ultimate source of this Light, became my Guru, along with Sri Aurobindo and The Mother (yes there is no reason why wone cannot have several gurus, and honour all of them equally!).

And Ramana's presence, and the connection with Ramana, has been constant. So I know he is an avatar, a sadguru.

The second, and more recent transformation, was in the start of Februrary, when I did a Theta Magic course led by Simon Rose. This really made me revise all my defeatist beliefs, and understand the way that Thought shapes Reality (and not just our psychological subjective reality, but also objective reality; everything is interconnected). In a way it was a perfect complement to Ramana; Ramana represents the gentle principle of love and non-action, the witness, theta magic, and magic in general, represents the power of action, the shakti, and these two are both equally principles and aspects of the Supreme that have to be reconciled; as they are in Sri Aurobindo and The Mother's path of Integral Yoga

I had a "high" for about a week or more after the course, then itreceded. Intriguingly, the theta presence is not constant the way it is with Ramana; I have to work at it. This is just another aspect of the polarity. But also I had to make it my own (because it is belief work, so it has to fit with my beliefs if I am to use it). I refer to my own practice with this now as theta work, rather than Theta Healing. I'm just using the term "theta" for convenience, as I've already merged the technique with my own revelation based on elements of Sri Aurobindo and The Mother's teachings.

But regardless, I've been using this to transforming my subconscious, clearing out all the built-up dregs and self-limitations I've imposed on myself and built up throughout this lifetime, and which also would include inherited miasmas and past life samskaras, as well as astral-physical attachments etc. All this stuff has to be cleared out, and can be cleared out. This technique is proof of that. The amazing thing is that there are other very similar techniques around. Bruce Lipton bases his book Biology of Belief on something called PSYCH-K which as far as I can see is almost identical to Theta Healing but without the latter's religious element (both use kinesology-type muscle testing, almost identical affirmations (abundance affirmations, which are standard across the New Age movement), NLP type reprogramming of the subconsciousness, and so on). But on the other end of the spectrum, A Course in Miracles represents the religious element of Faith Healing. The Alice Bailey -inspired Rainbow Bridge material also has areas of similarities too. So all this has given me a new insight, respect, and understanding for many different teachings and practices.

I've also decided that I need to spend more time working on my books, and less time on-line, otherwise I'll never get my books finished!

To relax, I like to be with my cats, sit around and daydream, read sometimes, and occasionally get out and ride my bike along the foreshore.

(More needs to be added. A lot has happened in 2008 and I have changed a great deal)

About Me

Respectable (w-e-l-l-...) biography

Disrespectable biography

Bibliography (respectable)

Philosophical Blog

Personal Blog

Current projects

Kheper Home | About Me Index Page | Topics | Esotericism | Esoteric Science | A new integral paradigm | Ecognosis | News and Events | Authors | Khepershop | Search

images not loading? | error messages? | broken links? | suggestions? | criticism?
contact me